Hi, it’s Evelien here. I need you to keep a secret…. networking did not come naturally to me….
Surprising, right? Especially when I tell you that I have been working as an international collaboration expert my entire career! I even have a degree in it….
Over the years, I applied my international collaboration skills in different kinds of jobs. To name a few: I started off as a sales and management assistant in the software industry, I later became a trade support officer in a diplomatic mission. I have even been a solo entrepreneur and a business consultant for cross border cooperation for a while.
All these positions had one thing in common: I was always the one to connect with our foreign clients and optimize the collaboration with our international partners. So networking was an integral part of my job profile.
The problem was: I don’t think I was very good at it. Or at least not as good as I could have been.
I relied heavily on digital platforms, like LinkedIn and my preferred mode of reaching out was by a long and well written email.
Surely I was able to have a little small talk at a trade show here and there or to collect a business card every now and then, but if I am being honest, I felt most comfortable behind my computer. Maybe you can relate….
One on one networking or cold calling felt intrusive, it felt pushy and slimy.
I was never good at selling, let alone selling myself, my ideas and solutions, my skills.
So the more I was able to distance myself from these one on one approaching methods and hide behind my computer or get lost in a crowd, the safer I felt.
My networking comfort zone consisted of writing reports and mails, participating in collective activities or initiating projects and joining working groups.
Does this sound familiar to you?
For years, this method of networking worked well enough to keep me employed and busy.
But the more I was moving up the career ladder and the more my projects gained a wider attention, the more it became crucial that my projects were successful and that I had a tangible result going for me.
In my personal life I had gone through a painful divorce, I was rebuilding my life on my own and I felt a growing pressure to deliver, in order to keep my job.
At the same time, it felt more complicated to approach and reach experts by email only.
People were responding slower or not at all.
Additionally, since the pandemic, the working world had gotten increasingly used to meet online. As a result, cooperative structures that used to rely on meetings in person had loosened considerably. This made it more difficult to establish and maintain personal relationships.
On top of that, yesterday’s experts were retiring without identifying a younger colleague to take over their topics. So, information was getting lost and it became more difficult to identify the new topic owners in foreign countries.
All this didn’t mean that international cooperation had become irrelevant.
On the contrary.
We all witnessed the global co-creation and production of a vaccine as a showcase example of how cross border collaboration could literally save lives.
And this was only one of the many problems the global community was (and still is) dealing with……
In the midst of this rapidly changing environment and my challenging personal circumstances, my German colleagues and I were organizing an international conference.
My colleagues were urging me to identify and get in touch with a representative from France with a particular expertise to our conference. The person in question would be invited to our conference as a speaker, so the conference would serve as a kick off for a European collaboration.
I immidiately realized, this is it: I would need to prove myself worthy of my job title “senior expert for international collaboration” or else I would probably get fired.
I did what I usually did in those cases: I elaborated on the search profile of the potential French expert, I did an extensive research and I sent a bunch of emails, both in English and French.
Days went by, weeks went by, the conference was getting closer by the minute. Soon the deadline for the publication of the program was coming up.
My colleagues were getting nervous, popping by every day, asking me whether I had found a French speaker yet.
I kept repeating my request to France per mail and I kept Googling for alternative organizations or different experts, but it all seemed fruitless.
In my mind I could already hear my colleagues whisper behind my back “If she cannot even find us a French expert for our project, why did we even hire an international collaboration expert in the first place?”.
If you have ever been under this type of pressure, you probably know how this feels.
It was a rainy day in September and through my office window I had a gloomy view of the gray clouds over Hamburg, perfectly reflecting my mood…. I realized my job was at stake. I knew I had to step up my game.
No more beating around the bush: I had to leave my comfort zone.
There and then I changed my mental costume. Looking back, it felt like turning on a light switch inside of me.
I felt a new determination to make this work.
I imagined how the sun would probably be shining in Paris right now, and somewhere in that beautiful city somebody was lucky enough to get a call from me.
I got up from my chair, rehearsed a few French opening lines, firmly picked up the phone and dialed the number of the international liaison organization I had come across a couple of times in my research.
Everything changed from that moment on.
The person I spoke to immediately understood the importance of my request and the sense of urgency behind it.
Within a few days he had not only identified the right expert to join our conference. He had also arranged full support for his French colleague with regards to communication, creating his presentation, and taking care of his travel arrangements.
Needless to say that my colleagues were thrilled.
Even more so, when I followed up on the conference by visiting Paris and personally convincing the expert and his organization to participate in the international project. Mission accomplished! I had saved my job.
I had also learned an important lesson along the way: for international collaboration to succeed, it has become absolutely vital to communicate on a personal level.
Emails are way too easily overlooked or ignored. Nowadays, you have to talk to people, one on one.
You have to build trust and let your counterparts know: I am here to stay. I am taking our relationship seriously and I am personally invested in our collaboration.
This has nothing to do with being pushy or salesy.
There is a different way to approach networking and that is to see it as a service. Joining the networking arena in person, means you are doing the world a service.
By bringing your co-creating powers to the table and opening doors for collaboration, you are paving the way for new and better ways to make this world more just, more fair and more sustainable.
Within my organization, I have become the go to person for advice on one on one networking. Most of my colleagues come from a technical background. I have noticed that they find the whole process of approaching strangers even more difficult than I did. I am always glad to help and it made me even more aware of the challenges we have to overcome in order to succeed.
I have given this a lot of thought and worked out the particular steps it took me to go from “desk-networker” to “one on one networker” and initiate fruitful international collaboration projects. It goes all the way from identifying the right people and working on your mindset to reaching out and establishing mutually beneficial transcultural relationships.
I invite you to learn these steps as well. Let me teach you.
The challenges of this world are so complex, we need the collaborative skills of every expert, every scientist, knowledge worker or solo entrepreneur, so that together we are able to create better and lasting solutions for peace, sustainability and prosperity for all of humanity.
Let me help you develop these skills. I am so looking forward to getting to know you!